Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Sunday, July 6, 2008
Difficult Conversations
There are many reasons for developing a fear of conflict or difficult conversations. Whatever the cause, we know that this fear can damage relationships. Where has it shown up for you and, what has been the impact? What would it be like to easily engage in these conversations? And how do we move past the painful paralysis caused by this fear of conflict, confrontation or simply letting our needs be known?
My process for overcoming this obstacle began with asking myself ‘What is the worst that could happen?’ This question is a great reality check for me. Those nagging voices in my head sometimes want me to believe a catastrophe is at hand. They would tell me that if I spoke my mind, shared my feelings or ask for what I want, someone would get really angry with me and that would be life shattering. When I check in with, ‘what is the worst that could happen?’ I realize there are no grounds for this type of thinking.
Opportunities to challenge this fear happen almost daily. As a manager, I would often have staff come to me complaining about someone else’s behavior. It is great when you can get this individual to manage the situation themselves; however, intervention is often required. On any given day, I might also need to inform an employee of a performance issue. I always found this easier if it was something I personally witnessed. There are essentially four areas of conflict managers’ face with employees:
1. Individual Performance – tardiness, meeting participation, organization, timeliness
2. Professional Development – training and learning to stay current in one’s craft, compliance with company policies and procedures, customer service, work related goals
3. Work Performance – meeting deadlines, quality output, meeting general expectations, exceeding expectations, errors/mistakes, process management, supervisory responsibilities
4. Work Relationships and Communication – understanding of the work culture, courtesy and politeness, engaging in appropriate conversations, attitude with others, demeanor, effective communication verbally and via email, managing conflict
Whether the issue is large or small, the critical need in preserving and building business, work and personal relationships outweighs our desire to avoid personal discomfort. When a pending conflict, difficult conversation or desire to express your needs or feelings brings out the child in us (wanting to hide and stay safe), the adult in us can take control with a few simple steps.
1. Inner Thoughts: Check in on those sabotaging thoughts. Are you making a mountain out of mole hill? Has your imagination gone over the edge? Are you needlessly comparing this event to a past event? Change those thoughts and get back on the reality track. Use your strengths to support you. If you know you do better writing out your thoughts first, go ahead. Then have that conversation. If it works better for you to talk it over and practice with a someone you trust, do it.
2. Look at your attitude.
a. Get Curious: Can you suspend all judgment for the moment? What if you decided to become completely curious? How then might you approach the situation? How does that change your energy?
b. Decide to not be right: This is critical to a successful conversation. Your investment in being right means you cannot suspend judgment and be curious and the other person will have no choice but to defend their position in the matter.
3. Ask open ended questions such as:
a. ‘What happened from your perspective?’
b. ‘Tell me more about that.’
c. ‘What are your thoughts about that?’
4. Feelings: Respect the other person’s feelings if they express them. Never tell them they are wrong to feel that way. Just accept it as their truth and try to understand.
5. Identity: Recognize and acknowledge the importance of the situation to who each of you are and how you want the world to view you.
6. Us against the problem: Join together as a team to solve the problem, learn from the situation and strategize for the future.
You don’t have to suffer the consequences of avoidance or reacting out of defensiveness. The price is just too high. Use these steps to practice a new way. Practice and practice some more. Each time it will become easier and more rewarding. If you fall back into old patterns of behavior, don’t beat yourself up about it. Own it, ask for a do-over, learn from it and keep practicing. You won’t regret it. Your relationships will grow and you will enjoy a life of integrity that allows you to sleep well. I don’t know about you but I find it very difficult to relax and be myself with all those ‘elephants’ in the room.
Linda McDonald
www.REACHresources.net
My process for overcoming this obstacle began with asking myself ‘What is the worst that could happen?’ This question is a great reality check for me. Those nagging voices in my head sometimes want me to believe a catastrophe is at hand. They would tell me that if I spoke my mind, shared my feelings or ask for what I want, someone would get really angry with me and that would be life shattering. When I check in with, ‘what is the worst that could happen?’ I realize there are no grounds for this type of thinking.
Opportunities to challenge this fear happen almost daily. As a manager, I would often have staff come to me complaining about someone else’s behavior. It is great when you can get this individual to manage the situation themselves; however, intervention is often required. On any given day, I might also need to inform an employee of a performance issue. I always found this easier if it was something I personally witnessed. There are essentially four areas of conflict managers’ face with employees:
1. Individual Performance – tardiness, meeting participation, organization, timeliness
2. Professional Development – training and learning to stay current in one’s craft, compliance with company policies and procedures, customer service, work related goals
3. Work Performance – meeting deadlines, quality output, meeting general expectations, exceeding expectations, errors/mistakes, process management, supervisory responsibilities
4. Work Relationships and Communication – understanding of the work culture, courtesy and politeness, engaging in appropriate conversations, attitude with others, demeanor, effective communication verbally and via email, managing conflict
Whether the issue is large or small, the critical need in preserving and building business, work and personal relationships outweighs our desire to avoid personal discomfort. When a pending conflict, difficult conversation or desire to express your needs or feelings brings out the child in us (wanting to hide and stay safe), the adult in us can take control with a few simple steps.
1. Inner Thoughts: Check in on those sabotaging thoughts. Are you making a mountain out of mole hill? Has your imagination gone over the edge? Are you needlessly comparing this event to a past event? Change those thoughts and get back on the reality track. Use your strengths to support you. If you know you do better writing out your thoughts first, go ahead. Then have that conversation. If it works better for you to talk it over and practice with a someone you trust, do it.
2. Look at your attitude.
a. Get Curious: Can you suspend all judgment for the moment? What if you decided to become completely curious? How then might you approach the situation? How does that change your energy?
b. Decide to not be right: This is critical to a successful conversation. Your investment in being right means you cannot suspend judgment and be curious and the other person will have no choice but to defend their position in the matter.
3. Ask open ended questions such as:
a. ‘What happened from your perspective?’
b. ‘Tell me more about that.’
c. ‘What are your thoughts about that?’
4. Feelings: Respect the other person’s feelings if they express them. Never tell them they are wrong to feel that way. Just accept it as their truth and try to understand.
5. Identity: Recognize and acknowledge the importance of the situation to who each of you are and how you want the world to view you.
6. Us against the problem: Join together as a team to solve the problem, learn from the situation and strategize for the future.
You don’t have to suffer the consequences of avoidance or reacting out of defensiveness. The price is just too high. Use these steps to practice a new way. Practice and practice some more. Each time it will become easier and more rewarding. If you fall back into old patterns of behavior, don’t beat yourself up about it. Own it, ask for a do-over, learn from it and keep practicing. You won’t regret it. Your relationships will grow and you will enjoy a life of integrity that allows you to sleep well. I don’t know about you but I find it very difficult to relax and be myself with all those ‘elephants’ in the room.
Linda McDonald
www.REACHresources.net
Friday, May 2, 2008
Your partner in work
Everyone needs someone to confide in who can be trusted to keep what they hear in confidence.
Have you ever felt alone? When you are the one in charge, the person others look to for leadership and guidance you have good reason to keep your fears, worries, frustrations and indicision to yourself. The truth is most people are not able to listen without concern for themselves.
Leaders need someone who can listen without judgment. Who is your sounding board? Who can you talk to that is not connected to or impacted by your work life or personal life?
It is critical for leaders to have a person with whom to share both the dark and light of their very real work life. A coach will listen and understand you. With this your coach knows exactly the right questions to ask and can remind you of what you most value and want. This skill helps you maintain clarity, remove obstacles and create success.
Don't go it alone. Hiring a coach is the smartest thing you can do for your career and happiness.
Have you ever felt alone? When you are the one in charge, the person others look to for leadership and guidance you have good reason to keep your fears, worries, frustrations and indicision to yourself. The truth is most people are not able to listen without concern for themselves.
Leaders need someone who can listen without judgment. Who is your sounding board? Who can you talk to that is not connected to or impacted by your work life or personal life?
It is critical for leaders to have a person with whom to share both the dark and light of their very real work life. A coach will listen and understand you. With this your coach knows exactly the right questions to ask and can remind you of what you most value and want. This skill helps you maintain clarity, remove obstacles and create success.
Don't go it alone. Hiring a coach is the smartest thing you can do for your career and happiness.
Friday, March 7, 2008
Transformation
Television shows like Extreme Makeover and Biggest Loser bring us individual stories of physical transformations that tend to result in emotional and behavioral transformations as well. It is all very dramatic. Of course, in 'real' life, transformations tend to be much more subtle. So subtle that it is easy to not notice them happening at all.
Have you noticed your ability to transform? Perhaps you have started the day in a bad mood but found a way to shake it off. Perhaps you have held a strong belief or attitude about something only to realize you needed to change.
The truth is that we all change is some way every day of our lives. It is our ability to do this that allows us to impact others.
In a coaching session recently, we discussed that the way in which we react to another person's behavior can have a powerful effect on that behavior. If I am working with a person who is in a 'bad' mood or is behaving rudely, I can support that behavior by simply giving it back to them. We both behave badly.
OR...I can possibly change that persons behavior through compassion and cause a transformation. If I wonder how that person is doing and simply ask "Are you okay?", what do you suppose their reaction might be?
I have done this many times. Most people just stop, look at me and at first seem to falter. Then, they say something like, 'No, I'm not really.' or 'Uh, I'm just having a bad day'. Typically, this is accompanied by something that sounds apologetic. Often, this person will lighten up afterward. They are transformed from sitting tightly in their own world and feeling badly to recognizing there are others around them, to standing and opening up.
Now and again the response is 'NO, I'M NOT!' and then they storm off. That's okay too. At least he or she is owning it and now leaving me out of it. They might need more time to work through whatever is bothering them. If I am in a position to do so, I can always check in with them later.
What if you take the time to notice how you react to the behaviors of other? What happens? If you notice you have a negative reaction, try doing it differently. See what happens when you let go of being offended, let go of the need to right and let go of the need to defend. See what happens when you see that person through compassion.
Make it a great day!
Coach Linda
Have you noticed your ability to transform? Perhaps you have started the day in a bad mood but found a way to shake it off. Perhaps you have held a strong belief or attitude about something only to realize you needed to change.
The truth is that we all change is some way every day of our lives. It is our ability to do this that allows us to impact others.
In a coaching session recently, we discussed that the way in which we react to another person's behavior can have a powerful effect on that behavior. If I am working with a person who is in a 'bad' mood or is behaving rudely, I can support that behavior by simply giving it back to them. We both behave badly.
OR...I can possibly change that persons behavior through compassion and cause a transformation. If I wonder how that person is doing and simply ask "Are you okay?", what do you suppose their reaction might be?
I have done this many times. Most people just stop, look at me and at first seem to falter. Then, they say something like, 'No, I'm not really.' or 'Uh, I'm just having a bad day'. Typically, this is accompanied by something that sounds apologetic. Often, this person will lighten up afterward. They are transformed from sitting tightly in their own world and feeling badly to recognizing there are others around them, to standing and opening up.
Now and again the response is 'NO, I'M NOT!' and then they storm off. That's okay too. At least he or she is owning it and now leaving me out of it. They might need more time to work through whatever is bothering them. If I am in a position to do so, I can always check in with them later.
What if you take the time to notice how you react to the behaviors of other? What happens? If you notice you have a negative reaction, try doing it differently. See what happens when you let go of being offended, let go of the need to right and let go of the need to defend. See what happens when you see that person through compassion.
Make it a great day!
Coach Linda
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
"Sick as a Dog"
As a member of Pioneer Valley Toastmasters I once did a speech that required research on a subject new to me. For some reason during that research I found myself exploring the origins of different expression. One expression ‘sick as a dog’ came up. It was first recorded in 1705. Apparently dogs being willing to eat just about anything were often witnessed to become violently ill. I was reminded of the old saying this week because I have been ‘sick as a dog’ for about five days.
Gratefully, I was not sick to my stomach. I had the classic and virtually untreatable sinusitis followed by head cold followed by chest cold. Permit me to whine for a moment. I hated it. I don’t like being confined to the house day after day unable to DO anything more productive than reading, watching TV (there really is nothing much on) and sleeping at a 45 degree angle.
Happily I am feeling better today. I still sound like Lauren Bacall with a frog in her throat and I still cough dramatically with overexertion and laughing. It is Tuesday night and I actually managed to work on my mailing list for an hour and I am writing in my blog. This feels huge when you consider that I typically work six to seven days a week. Did I mention that I really love my work? I do and it feels good to create something new every day, to help a client in coaching and to work with my patients in rehab a few days a week.
I wish I could tell you that all this time to myself provided an opportunity for self reflection, some big aha!, but it didn’t, not this time. I spent each and every day in denial and certainty that TOMORROW I will be just fine. It will be over. No magic. Just a normal, average run-of-the-mill winter sicky cold that has to run its course. Okay, I did get to practice some patience. But, I already have a pretty good handle on that.
No big lessons to share here. Just glad to be back and ready to do what I am here to do. Connect, coach and create. Love that!
What is it you are here to do?
Linda
Gratefully, I was not sick to my stomach. I had the classic and virtually untreatable sinusitis followed by head cold followed by chest cold. Permit me to whine for a moment. I hated it. I don’t like being confined to the house day after day unable to DO anything more productive than reading, watching TV (there really is nothing much on) and sleeping at a 45 degree angle.
Happily I am feeling better today. I still sound like Lauren Bacall with a frog in her throat and I still cough dramatically with overexertion and laughing. It is Tuesday night and I actually managed to work on my mailing list for an hour and I am writing in my blog. This feels huge when you consider that I typically work six to seven days a week. Did I mention that I really love my work? I do and it feels good to create something new every day, to help a client in coaching and to work with my patients in rehab a few days a week.
I wish I could tell you that all this time to myself provided an opportunity for self reflection, some big aha!, but it didn’t, not this time. I spent each and every day in denial and certainty that TOMORROW I will be just fine. It will be over. No magic. Just a normal, average run-of-the-mill winter sicky cold that has to run its course. Okay, I did get to practice some patience. But, I already have a pretty good handle on that.
No big lessons to share here. Just glad to be back and ready to do what I am here to do. Connect, coach and create. Love that!
What is it you are here to do?
Linda
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
New Habits Don't HAVE to Be Hard to Make
Last night I spoke at a fund raiser/health and wellness event. We raised money for the Spirit in Action New Orleans Schools Rethink project. It was a great event.
My topic was 'Habits are Hard to Break, so instead try adopting a few new good habits instead'. I have a lot of fun with this topic. It is really about personal change and creating expectations that are realistic and doable.
Have you ever done that thing...made an expectation for yourself that is so out of reach that all you can do is give up in the end? I know what that is like. Giving up on a goal doesn't feel good at all. I tend to feel disappointed and embarrassed at the failure. I might come up with really good reasons why it happened but the hurt is still there.
When it comes to adding new good habits, we can expect it to be a bit of work. Unlike a habit already formed in which we do without thinking about it, a new habit is not yet 'habit'. It is a new behavior first and requires A LOT OF THINKING. The bigger the expectation of change or new behavior, the MORE THINKING IT REQUIRES. This can be very fatiguing. What happens to you when you get over-tired? You might just take a break, stop what you are doing, give up. Don't let this happen to you. There is an easier way...
Tips for taking on a new good habit:
Small steps create new behaviors which create new good habits.
I have spent years trying to lose weight and get in shape. I just couldn't stick with the 'total makeover' all or nothing approaches. This time I am trying the small steps to new good habits approach. I eat protien for breakfast. I will keep doing this new behavior until it comes easy, natural as waking up each day. Doing the same with adding fun, healthy snacks like trail mix and sliced oranges. I workout with my fabulous personal fitness trainer, Brandon Reed at Fitness Together just 2 times a week. Totally doable and after 3 months, it is beginning to feel routine to get on the gear and get to the gym. I feel the success and the integration is happening. When these habits are formed there will be room in my brain to try other new behaviors.
What new habit do you want to bring into your life? How will you make it work for you?
Make it a great week.
Linda
My topic was 'Habits are Hard to Break, so instead try adopting a few new good habits instead'. I have a lot of fun with this topic. It is really about personal change and creating expectations that are realistic and doable.
Have you ever done that thing...made an expectation for yourself that is so out of reach that all you can do is give up in the end? I know what that is like. Giving up on a goal doesn't feel good at all. I tend to feel disappointed and embarrassed at the failure. I might come up with really good reasons why it happened but the hurt is still there.
When it comes to adding new good habits, we can expect it to be a bit of work. Unlike a habit already formed in which we do without thinking about it, a new habit is not yet 'habit'. It is a new behavior first and requires A LOT OF THINKING. The bigger the expectation of change or new behavior, the MORE THINKING IT REQUIRES. This can be very fatiguing. What happens to you when you get over-tired? You might just take a break, stop what you are doing, give up. Don't let this happen to you. There is an easier way...
Tips for taking on a new good habit:
- Have a good reason for making a change - motivator
- Know what you want to accomplish
- Break that goal down into tiny steps that are doable
- Be patient - follow the 21/180 rule (21 days to turn the behavior into a potential habit, 180 days to integrate into a habit)
- Celebrate every success no matter how small and ignore slips and falls
- Instead of going from couch potato to body builder, try couch potato to 3 brisk walks a day with someone you enjoy being with
- Instead of going from chocoholic to 'no snacks between meals', try chocoholic to six fruits and veggies per day
Small steps create new behaviors which create new good habits.
I have spent years trying to lose weight and get in shape. I just couldn't stick with the 'total makeover' all or nothing approaches. This time I am trying the small steps to new good habits approach. I eat protien for breakfast. I will keep doing this new behavior until it comes easy, natural as waking up each day. Doing the same with adding fun, healthy snacks like trail mix and sliced oranges. I workout with my fabulous personal fitness trainer, Brandon Reed at Fitness Together just 2 times a week. Totally doable and after 3 months, it is beginning to feel routine to get on the gear and get to the gym. I feel the success and the integration is happening. When these habits are formed there will be room in my brain to try other new behaviors.
What new habit do you want to bring into your life? How will you make it work for you?
Make it a great week.
Linda
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Shake it off!
We all have personal triggers or hot buttons.
One of my personal triggers is when someone tells me I have done something wrong. I don't know why I react to this, but I always do.
Most of the time I am able to 'catch' my reaction before it shows. I am truly grateful for this ability. I hear the accusation. I feel it in my gut. I recognize this initial response as my warning sign that I have been triggered and I stop, take a deep breath and shake it off.
This ability saves me much embarrassment. Often when I am triggered, it happens when someone with good intentions expresses him or her self poorly. Once I realize this I know I don't need to take it personally. I am okay and all is safe.
I usually forget to manage my triggers when I am vulnerable. I am usually vulnerable when I am over tired, not feeling well or in a new situation. This vulnerability is not a bad thing, but it really pays to take care of myself so it happens less often or less intensely.
What happens to you when you are vulnerable? Do you notice it is more difficult to manage behaviors coming from your emotions?
Share your thoughts. I would love to hear from you.
Make it a great day!
Linda
http://www.reachresources.net/
One of my personal triggers is when someone tells me I have done something wrong. I don't know why I react to this, but I always do.
Most of the time I am able to 'catch' my reaction before it shows. I am truly grateful for this ability. I hear the accusation. I feel it in my gut. I recognize this initial response as my warning sign that I have been triggered and I stop, take a deep breath and shake it off.
This ability saves me much embarrassment. Often when I am triggered, it happens when someone with good intentions expresses him or her self poorly. Once I realize this I know I don't need to take it personally. I am okay and all is safe.
I usually forget to manage my triggers when I am vulnerable. I am usually vulnerable when I am over tired, not feeling well or in a new situation. This vulnerability is not a bad thing, but it really pays to take care of myself so it happens less often or less intensely.
What happens to you when you are vulnerable? Do you notice it is more difficult to manage behaviors coming from your emotions?
Share your thoughts. I would love to hear from you.
Make it a great day!
Linda
http://www.reachresources.net/
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Yes-ness
I am offering a new group coaching program - Abundant Solutions. I see abundant solutions in most situations. It really helps to have an attitude of 'yes-ness'. Tony Robbins calls this a 'Can-do Attitude'. I have always been a big fan of the word yes. Yes is symbolic of moving forward, making things happen, taking a risk, trying it on...you get the idea.
Saying yes doesn't necessarily mean I or anyone else will get just what was wanted or expected. Without the yes though, you can be sure not much will happen.
What will you do to take on a 'YES ATTITUDE' today?
Go out and make it a great day!
Linda
Saying yes doesn't necessarily mean I or anyone else will get just what was wanted or expected. Without the yes though, you can be sure not much will happen.
What will you do to take on a 'YES ATTITUDE' today?
Go out and make it a great day!
Linda
Monday, January 21, 2008
Dreaming of Possibilities
I just came home from my Toastmaster's meeting. I have been in TM's for about 18 months and I love it. I look forward to hearing the speeches and to giving my own. My core values include creativity, learning and delight and I get to express and nuture these values in this forum.
Tonight, the table topics master asked us to talk about our dream vacation. I tried to think of what mine would be and nothing extraordinary came to mind. Then I realized that four years has passed since my last vacation. Wow! How did that happen? Four years!
I know why this has happened. Four years ago I started my business as a coach and consultant. With no built in structure for vacationing, it just slipped right by me. I have been having a lot of fun (something we look to get from vacations); I barter with massage therapists, reflexologists, personal trainers and the like (relaxing, invigorating...more vacation-like stuff); I take on big challenges and some risks (could that be an adventure vacation?).
These silly thoughts went swimming through my head as others talked about Hawaii, Japan and other exotic travel. I finally stepped up to speak about mini vacations I have enjoyed on the massage table once a month. I think I am pretty priviliged to be able to do this on a regular basis. There is more to this though. I realize I no longer fantasize about the future. I do have goals and plans, but they are fairly general in nature. I feel so grounded in present that I haven't taken the time to create a fantasy.
The great thing about the fantasy or dream is the hope it holds. It is that direction to head toward and it gives a sense of possibility. Possibility says it all. Anything is possible in our dreams. Being open to what is possible opens us to opportunity. The open space receives.
It is time for me to take the time to create new dreams. Life is not just about doing, doing, doing. I want to 'be' in openness and possibility. I want to dream up my new dream. My dream vacation, my dream sleep over with the grankids, my dream client, my dream speaking engagement, my dream life...
Balance reality with beautiful dreams.
Until next time, what dreams will you re-awaken? What new dreams will you create?
Linda
http://www.reachresources.net/
Tonight, the table topics master asked us to talk about our dream vacation. I tried to think of what mine would be and nothing extraordinary came to mind. Then I realized that four years has passed since my last vacation. Wow! How did that happen? Four years!
I know why this has happened. Four years ago I started my business as a coach and consultant. With no built in structure for vacationing, it just slipped right by me. I have been having a lot of fun (something we look to get from vacations); I barter with massage therapists, reflexologists, personal trainers and the like (relaxing, invigorating...more vacation-like stuff); I take on big challenges and some risks (could that be an adventure vacation?).
These silly thoughts went swimming through my head as others talked about Hawaii, Japan and other exotic travel. I finally stepped up to speak about mini vacations I have enjoyed on the massage table once a month. I think I am pretty priviliged to be able to do this on a regular basis. There is more to this though. I realize I no longer fantasize about the future. I do have goals and plans, but they are fairly general in nature. I feel so grounded in present that I haven't taken the time to create a fantasy.
The great thing about the fantasy or dream is the hope it holds. It is that direction to head toward and it gives a sense of possibility. Possibility says it all. Anything is possible in our dreams. Being open to what is possible opens us to opportunity. The open space receives.
It is time for me to take the time to create new dreams. Life is not just about doing, doing, doing. I want to 'be' in openness and possibility. I want to dream up my new dream. My dream vacation, my dream sleep over with the grankids, my dream client, my dream speaking engagement, my dream life...
Balance reality with beautiful dreams.
Until next time, what dreams will you re-awaken? What new dreams will you create?
Linda
http://www.reachresources.net/
Sunday, January 20, 2008
Attitude Adjustments
I had to miss sitting down and watching the Patriots win their 18th game today. I know it was a tough game though...freezing cold ouch-type weather. I missed the game to go to my part-time job as an occupational therapist in the rehab department of a nursing home. On the way in today, two staff members stood outside in the freezing sunshine while on break. We began to banter about how hot is was in the sun and wouldn't it be better if we were wearing our shorts and t-shirts afterall!
When something is tough to do (like playing football in sub-zero weather) or tiresome (like more ice and snow and another Sunday on the job) I notice the way I react AND how others react. I like it when we use humor (tongue in cheek, of course). It's just as easy to laugh as it is to frown. Feels better, too. One of my patients had a whole stream of family visiting today. She is a very popular grandma. Her situation is a bit scarey. We don't know what exactly is happening medically. So the family rallies round and pours on the humor. She gets all that fabulous TLC and sore cheeks by the end of the day. Laughter heals and this wise family knows it.
I also like to take on the Nike 'Just Do It' attitude. Nothing needs to be perfect or the way I want it to be in order for it to be done. It can be so much easier to just do it and do it with an attitude of resolve and care. Takes all the angst away and that is a GOOD thing.
This one applies to me as I work on eating better. Now here is some news you don't hear every day...apparently I am not eating enough calories...go figure! My silly body is packing away the fat in it's confusion that I am starving to death. Ha! Not happening. So, now I need to get at least 800 calaries in by 2 in the afternoon. Weird that this is difficult but I decided to just do it and pack up my 'lunch box' with all the healthy food my body needs to feel secure in its nutrition. I am starting to get used to it and will hopefully begin to shed some un-needed fat 'toot-sweet' :)
Just Doin' It.
What helps you to get through the tough and tiresome stuff of life? I would love to know.
Warmly,
Linda
http://www.reachlifecoach.com/
When something is tough to do (like playing football in sub-zero weather) or tiresome (like more ice and snow and another Sunday on the job) I notice the way I react AND how others react. I like it when we use humor (tongue in cheek, of course). It's just as easy to laugh as it is to frown. Feels better, too. One of my patients had a whole stream of family visiting today. She is a very popular grandma. Her situation is a bit scarey. We don't know what exactly is happening medically. So the family rallies round and pours on the humor. She gets all that fabulous TLC and sore cheeks by the end of the day. Laughter heals and this wise family knows it.
I also like to take on the Nike 'Just Do It' attitude. Nothing needs to be perfect or the way I want it to be in order for it to be done. It can be so much easier to just do it and do it with an attitude of resolve and care. Takes all the angst away and that is a GOOD thing.
This one applies to me as I work on eating better. Now here is some news you don't hear every day...apparently I am not eating enough calories...go figure! My silly body is packing away the fat in it's confusion that I am starving to death. Ha! Not happening. So, now I need to get at least 800 calaries in by 2 in the afternoon. Weird that this is difficult but I decided to just do it and pack up my 'lunch box' with all the healthy food my body needs to feel secure in its nutrition. I am starting to get used to it and will hopefully begin to shed some un-needed fat 'toot-sweet' :)
Just Doin' It.
What helps you to get through the tough and tiresome stuff of life? I would love to know.
Warmly,
Linda
http://www.reachlifecoach.com/
Saturday, January 19, 2008
Greetings from Coach Linda
Life can be a rollercoaster and that can be great fun or great stress. Sometimes it is both. I used to love riding the rollercoaster at Six Flaggs and then one day I didn't enjoy it anymore. Something shifted and I longed for a more steady ride. I have come to that place where certainty tastes as good as chocolate. I want to enjoy the freedom of steady income and a lighter, more flexible schedule. Have you come to this type of transition in your life? There are many types of transitions...what is the nature of yours?
The thing about transitions is that they can be intentional, which makes it easier to manage the change that comes with it or they can happen TO you without prelude. In this case, you might not even realize it until you are knee-deep in resistance or confusion. This is a very uncomfortable place to be and can cause tension at home and work.
You know you are in resistance or confusion when most of what you do feels 'hard'. Conversations, decisions, actions all feel heavy...a struggle.
Look for this in your life. See it and let it go or let it flow. Acceptance is the first step toward creating EASE. What will you let go of today?
Make it a great day!
Coach Linda
The thing about transitions is that they can be intentional, which makes it easier to manage the change that comes with it or they can happen TO you without prelude. In this case, you might not even realize it until you are knee-deep in resistance or confusion. This is a very uncomfortable place to be and can cause tension at home and work.
You know you are in resistance or confusion when most of what you do feels 'hard'. Conversations, decisions, actions all feel heavy...a struggle.
Look for this in your life. See it and let it go or let it flow. Acceptance is the first step toward creating EASE. What will you let go of today?
Make it a great day!
Coach Linda
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