Television shows like Extreme Makeover and Biggest Loser bring us individual stories of physical transformations that tend to result in emotional and behavioral transformations as well. It is all very dramatic. Of course, in 'real' life, transformations tend to be much more subtle. So subtle that it is easy to not notice them happening at all.
Have you noticed your ability to transform? Perhaps you have started the day in a bad mood but found a way to shake it off. Perhaps you have held a strong belief or attitude about something only to realize you needed to change.
The truth is that we all change is some way every day of our lives. It is our ability to do this that allows us to impact others.
In a coaching session recently, we discussed that the way in which we react to another person's behavior can have a powerful effect on that behavior. If I am working with a person who is in a 'bad' mood or is behaving rudely, I can support that behavior by simply giving it back to them. We both behave badly.
OR...I can possibly change that persons behavior through compassion and cause a transformation. If I wonder how that person is doing and simply ask "Are you okay?", what do you suppose their reaction might be?
I have done this many times. Most people just stop, look at me and at first seem to falter. Then, they say something like, 'No, I'm not really.' or 'Uh, I'm just having a bad day'. Typically, this is accompanied by something that sounds apologetic. Often, this person will lighten up afterward. They are transformed from sitting tightly in their own world and feeling badly to recognizing there are others around them, to standing and opening up.
Now and again the response is 'NO, I'M NOT!' and then they storm off. That's okay too. At least he or she is owning it and now leaving me out of it. They might need more time to work through whatever is bothering them. If I am in a position to do so, I can always check in with them later.
What if you take the time to notice how you react to the behaviors of other? What happens? If you notice you have a negative reaction, try doing it differently. See what happens when you let go of being offended, let go of the need to right and let go of the need to defend. See what happens when you see that person through compassion.
Make it a great day!
Coach Linda
